MAMA CHIKA
This post is dedicated to the most amazing woman I know, my mum.
My mum is one of the most shy persons on the outside, shies away from the lime light, graces social events but likes to go unnoticed (talk about hiding a lit candle).
As every other human, mama as we all call her, has her flaws, but that's overshadowed by her good spirit.
Chief Mrs. K. Mary A...
• MOTHER
First and foremost, she's a mother of three beautiful girls and her darling son. After which she's a wife to one funny man who stole her heart about 23years ago(my old man). Then being a nurse comes after, I bet that's the only profession she knows and she's good at it, hence the rapid promotions (we all suffered growing up sha, slight headache and your swallowing the entire first aid kit, mama didn't have first aid kits sef, she had a GENERAL hospital in her room, injections up and down, we would be ill and try to hide it from her, my buttocks sha :(...lol)
Recall when I was starting boarding school and she gave me an entire container with all sorts of drugs in it, when I got to school, my house mistress took it and DONATED it to the school clinic, I bet it lasted a term, treating the school.
• MAMA the WORRIER
My mother can worry for Africa sha(she says I would understand that when I'm a mother).
I called her one time from boarding school to say I was running out of feeding money, she waited until my dad returned home then put up a show, cried and said I hadn't eaten in days, her blood pressure shot up and my dad warned me never to complain to her as she would exaggerate things and work herself up.
We have situations at home and everyone talks about it and goes hush hush when she's around, who wan cause HBP?
Reminiscing over the typhoid that almost claimed my life in July/August, the woman worried her heart out and as usual didn't sleep for days, by the time I was transferred from the hospital here in Lagos to Niger, she just knelt down before me in tears, thanking God I was still alive, she pampered me silly, bathing me, spoon feeding me and all. God BLESS my mama
• OUR FRIEND
Mama is my bestest buddy, we quarrel and settle like husband and wife.
Whenever she needs to talk to someone, she calls on me. Whatever decision she has to make even as little as what to cook I'm her decision maker (this annoys me sometimes, am I your husband*rolls eyes*)
• THE CHEF
My mother's delicacies are superb and she treats us to it all the time(now we've taken over, old age, its her time to rest) still I get the, 'I will prepare pounded yam and pepper soup for you so you return to good food and have a break from the garbage you eat in Lagos) Mama Chika, you want to pound yam for who? With which body? Biko, I will pound it myself when I get home, ahn han.
• AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME
My mama is a funny, beautiful woman, from her I learnt to love my skin, no lightening creams,(except INSTAGRAM filters of cos) embrace your complexion and till date I represent #TeamBlackGirls
My mum loves her God and she may not be the 'ghen-ghen-you-must-go-to-Sunday-school' type, but she sure tries her best to see we all have a personal relationship with our Creator.
She's a great adviser, a friend, our fight mate, a chief, a leader, a true example of 'when something is broken, you fix it not change it', 'smile cos that may be the only happiness a stranger may get', and a beautiful nurse.
My mum is all and more, I could go on and on, but this yeye girl just got back from the beach and is so exhausted and is starting to doze off.
So to the bestest of 'em all, I wish you a blessed 51, more years to sit back and flex your children and grandchildren, and I will still buy you car and build you house oh, so just keep calm and stop worrying that beautiful small head I inherited from you.
Mama wey no go chop because she no know if her children don see garri chow for where dem dey, meanwhile freshos like us are eating asun, ZAY and sardine filled noodles... Heheheheh
Dear daddy, if you get to read this, please kill her a chicken and prepare that amazing pepper soup you do for just her, no long throat children close to her oh, lock her in the room sef, in fact stay with her, else she would hide some to give the boys later.
I love U today, yesterday and forever. If I did have to return to earth, please be my best friend still!!!
A MOTHER'S LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDS...through and through you are cherished.
...XoXo...
My mum is one of the most shy persons on the outside, shies away from the lime light, graces social events but likes to go unnoticed (talk about hiding a lit candle).
As every other human, mama as we all call her, has her flaws, but that's overshadowed by her good spirit.
Chief Mrs. K. Mary A...
• MOTHER
First and foremost, she's a mother of three beautiful girls and her darling son. After which she's a wife to one funny man who stole her heart about 23years ago(my old man). Then being a nurse comes after, I bet that's the only profession she knows and she's good at it, hence the rapid promotions (we all suffered growing up sha, slight headache and your swallowing the entire first aid kit, mama didn't have first aid kits sef, she had a GENERAL hospital in her room, injections up and down, we would be ill and try to hide it from her, my buttocks sha :(...lol)
Recall when I was starting boarding school and she gave me an entire container with all sorts of drugs in it, when I got to school, my house mistress took it and DONATED it to the school clinic, I bet it lasted a term, treating the school.
• MAMA the WORRIER
My mother can worry for Africa sha(she says I would understand that when I'm a mother).
I called her one time from boarding school to say I was running out of feeding money, she waited until my dad returned home then put up a show, cried and said I hadn't eaten in days, her blood pressure shot up and my dad warned me never to complain to her as she would exaggerate things and work herself up.
We have situations at home and everyone talks about it and goes hush hush when she's around, who wan cause HBP?
Reminiscing over the typhoid that almost claimed my life in July/August, the woman worried her heart out and as usual didn't sleep for days, by the time I was transferred from the hospital here in Lagos to Niger, she just knelt down before me in tears, thanking God I was still alive, she pampered me silly, bathing me, spoon feeding me and all. God BLESS my mama
• OUR FRIEND
Mama is my bestest buddy, we quarrel and settle like husband and wife.
Whenever she needs to talk to someone, she calls on me. Whatever decision she has to make even as little as what to cook I'm her decision maker (this annoys me sometimes, am I your husband*rolls eyes*)
• THE CHEF
My mother's delicacies are superb and she treats us to it all the time(now we've taken over, old age, its her time to rest) still I get the, 'I will prepare pounded yam and pepper soup for you so you return to good food and have a break from the garbage you eat in Lagos) Mama Chika, you want to pound yam for who? With which body? Biko, I will pound it myself when I get home, ahn han.
• AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME
My mama is a funny, beautiful woman, from her I learnt to love my skin, no lightening creams,(except INSTAGRAM filters of cos) embrace your complexion and till date I represent #TeamBlackGirls
My mum loves her God and she may not be the 'ghen-ghen-you-must-go-to-Sunday-school' type, but she sure tries her best to see we all have a personal relationship with our Creator.
She's a great adviser, a friend, our fight mate, a chief, a leader, a true example of 'when something is broken, you fix it not change it', 'smile cos that may be the only happiness a stranger may get', and a beautiful nurse.
My mum is all and more, I could go on and on, but this yeye girl just got back from the beach and is so exhausted and is starting to doze off.
So to the bestest of 'em all, I wish you a blessed 51, more years to sit back and flex your children and grandchildren, and I will still buy you car and build you house oh, so just keep calm and stop worrying that beautiful small head I inherited from you.
Mama wey no go chop because she no know if her children don see garri chow for where dem dey, meanwhile freshos like us are eating asun, ZAY and sardine filled noodles... Heheheheh
Dear daddy, if you get to read this, please kill her a chicken and prepare that amazing pepper soup you do for just her, no long throat children close to her oh, lock her in the room sef, in fact stay with her, else she would hide some to give the boys later.
I love U today, yesterday and forever. If I did have to return to earth, please be my best friend still!!!
A MOTHER'S LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDS...through and through you are cherished.
...XoXo...
Marlyne
MY NKEM...
Hi people, I failed to mention I will be talking A LOT about Nkem ( my king, my rock) :D
So today, I could not resist the urge to not make this about him. I failed to post something for him on his birthday which was days ago...I hereby appease the gods of 'one yoruba state'.
These are a few things that got me drawn to him and they are qualities I did not know I would ever seriously admire(perhaps cos one has to get to a certain stage to know these things). Sometime ago my idle man would be a TDH - Tall Dark and Handsome, with mad abs, sagging(what do you call it) LIL WAYNEish or even FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIREish(all blings and flavorlicious) I'm not your regular fairytale kinda girl. *not interested look*
So Nkem is a breathe of fresh air, a break out of the norm.
• CHARACTER
Nkem is as real as the word. I got to understand and appreciate this and before I knew it, I was already very comfortable opening up and saying things as they come to me.
Nkem has his hot and cold days oh, do not get me wrong me, but his alter ego is a very charming unbelievably fantastic gentleman (held under duress to type that...lol)
• MORALS
This does not entail being religious to know right from wrong, everyone knows what's right and what's wrong, whatever option one decides to take is totally up to him.
Nkem has high morals and I do get away with bad juvenile behaviours...sometimes
Other times, I get spanked for it.
Mr. Do good :p *okbye*
• NKEM & HIS FATHER
Nkem does not take communicating with his Creator lightly, whatever he needs, he asks. In everything he dedicates more time to the Almighty.
Through him, I have been able to read the Bible more. We have Bible study and pray together and for each other. Sometimes he sends me verses from the Bible to either praise me or brighten my day. (I get inspired to do same)
• HIS LAUGHTER
How do I start to explain this so laymen can understand? :p
Well, it just takes the world off my shoulders, there's some nerve calming-wide smile effect it has on me. (NEVER applicable to any other person, so do not go close to him and ask he laughs :| I will find you and I will grill you, for my monkey)
• WORDS OF WISDOM
I read some quote which said 'weigh your words, before spitting them out'. Nkem is careful with words. He knows the right things to say at the right time.
• QUALITY
If he were a woman, I would be so jealous of him. His taste for excellence is on a scale of its own. (That's how he laughed at the youtube video link I sent him to watch a review on a mini washing machine I saw on an online store, and said he saw someone use a bucket to wash shirt. *someone hide me*) :( I tend to forget I'm no longer single, but building my own home.
• RESPECT
He respects my opinions and never looks down on my choices, instead he explain why P cannot work alongside J.
He respects others too and no judging.
• EXPERIENCE
Talk about been there, seen, done all. My boo is an expertise at things, so most times I take the back seat and watch him handle issues.
• LOVE
*clears throat* Nkem...*still clearing throat* I think the kolanut has gone into the wrong... Ehen, so as I was saying before the kola... He is not so big with words of emotions, but its so clear from his expressions, his silence, his laughter. What he cannot man up to say, he makes up for via other means only I am privileged to know :p
I can go on and on oh, but I'm sure by now I could fill my google notepad with praises of Nkem, so I will drop my golden pen in my golden basket of love*in an igbo man's accent'... LOL
When one finds love, he/she automatically becomes a philosopher or a poet, in my case I'm all and more. Can a girl who's blessed this much not sing it?
...XoXo...
So today, I could not resist the urge to not make this about him. I failed to post something for him on his birthday which was days ago...I hereby appease the gods of 'one yoruba state'.
These are a few things that got me drawn to him and they are qualities I did not know I would ever seriously admire(perhaps cos one has to get to a certain stage to know these things). Sometime ago my idle man would be a TDH - Tall Dark and Handsome, with mad abs, sagging(what do you call it) LIL WAYNEish or even FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIREish(all blings and flavorlicious) I'm not your regular fairytale kinda girl. *not interested look*
So Nkem is a breathe of fresh air, a break out of the norm.
• CHARACTER
Nkem is as real as the word. I got to understand and appreciate this and before I knew it, I was already very comfortable opening up and saying things as they come to me.
Nkem has his hot and cold days oh, do not get me wrong me, but his alter ego is a very charming unbelievably fantastic gentleman (held under duress to type that...lol)
• MORALS
This does not entail being religious to know right from wrong, everyone knows what's right and what's wrong, whatever option one decides to take is totally up to him.
Nkem has high morals and I do get away with bad juvenile behaviours...sometimes
Other times, I get spanked for it.
Mr. Do good :p *okbye*
• NKEM & HIS FATHER
Nkem does not take communicating with his Creator lightly, whatever he needs, he asks. In everything he dedicates more time to the Almighty.
Through him, I have been able to read the Bible more. We have Bible study and pray together and for each other. Sometimes he sends me verses from the Bible to either praise me or brighten my day. (I get inspired to do same)
• HIS LAUGHTER
How do I start to explain this so laymen can understand? :p
Well, it just takes the world off my shoulders, there's some nerve calming-wide smile effect it has on me. (NEVER applicable to any other person, so do not go close to him and ask he laughs :| I will find you and I will grill you, for my monkey)
• WORDS OF WISDOM
I read some quote which said 'weigh your words, before spitting them out'. Nkem is careful with words. He knows the right things to say at the right time.
• QUALITY
If he were a woman, I would be so jealous of him. His taste for excellence is on a scale of its own. (That's how he laughed at the youtube video link I sent him to watch a review on a mini washing machine I saw on an online store, and said he saw someone use a bucket to wash shirt. *someone hide me*) :( I tend to forget I'm no longer single, but building my own home.
• RESPECT
He respects my opinions and never looks down on my choices, instead he explain why P cannot work alongside J.
He respects others too and no judging.
• EXPERIENCE
Talk about been there, seen, done all. My boo is an expertise at things, so most times I take the back seat and watch him handle issues.
• LOVE
*clears throat* Nkem...*still clearing throat* I think the kolanut has gone into the wrong... Ehen, so as I was saying before the kola... He is not so big with words of emotions, but its so clear from his expressions, his silence, his laughter. What he cannot man up to say, he makes up for via other means only I am privileged to know :p
I can go on and on oh, but I'm sure by now I could fill my google notepad with praises of Nkem, so I will drop my golden pen in my golden basket of love*in an igbo man's accent'... LOL
When one finds love, he/she automatically becomes a philosopher or a poet, in my case I'm all and more. Can a girl who's blessed this much not sing it?
...XoXo...
Marlyne
LAGOS HOUSE HUNTING
Hi guys, failed to mention the transition from marlynejr.wordpress.com to this page. Lost my password and could not retrieve, long story.
So welcome to the new site (don't worry, I have tattooed the password of this site on my left thigh).
So I'm going to rant about my frustration on house hunting in this city of Lagos.
I have been house hunting for...don't know how long sef, but when I took it seriously, I went to look for an agent, (I been think say na beans) then I was asked to pay pre-inspection fee of 2k, ehn, no ish...paid and filled the form.(I stated clearly what it was I wanted, but failed to categorically state what areas) so trust lagos agents to waste your time, as long as they are getting recharge card money and your paying their transport fee.
The first place I was taken to was OGBA, the farther we kept going, the more scared I became, at some point I thought I was at OWO(Ibadan). *wipes sweat and red eyes*
The house itself was a newly renovated building with a large sitting room that got me thinking the landlord wanted it to be used as the bedroom, the bedroom was so tiny, one mattress, and ild be standing on the mattress to see the mirror. The doors were all clapping themselves, kitchen, toilet,room door, just swinging carelessly and if one wasn't careful, you would be high-fived every time you went past anyone.
The environment, oh boy, there were two schools, on the right side of the house and directly opposite the house, to top it all, was a church yards away from the main gate. *evils*
I literally went up in tears as I mailed Nkem, he went all sorry on me, and said, 'omit this from the blog oh'.lol, had to share.
By the time I got home, I was beat. And that was how the search ended... For a few weeks though.
One night, my girlfriend came from Abuja and we decided to start the house hunt...again!
So as unusual as it is we were up and out before 7:30am, started walking the streets of ikeja G.R.A as if there was something we really expected to get. I used my *blesses the Almighty* fluency in hausa to speak with gate men who seemed amazed that we were looking for houses without any specific place in mind or without an agent, and some were so happy to see their sister and started trying to famz,ANYWAY,*rolls eyes* in the end, we walked G.R.A in circles till about 11:00am and gave up.
Smart girlfriend went up on OLX and saw a placement there, called the agent and jumped on the estate shuttle to the agent's office.
Do I have to tell the story of how I had to pay another pre-inspection fee and filled form and explained that I do not work and I'm Igbo even though I look and speak hausa and I'm a christian, and I'm not single?
These landlords are so sexist and tribalistic and even more. Well, after stories of how landlords do not want single ladies in their houses and blah, we got to going to check some places.
First, we went to a hut at Anifowose with a different agent, yes, you read right, a HUT. Though the agent called it a storey building*tilts nose* we climbed the very unsafe stairs and got in, Jesu, we were covering our nose half the time, yeye man, turned and asked if the place was smelling, 'no sir, d scent is so intoxicating, we would gladly throw our perfumes away and come bask in this*rolls eyes*.
Swear down, I do not know what cardboard paper was used as a division to create a room abi its sitting room sef? :(
The agent guy even had the effrontery to ask if we were looking for the house for our elder sister (the way we were dressed ehn, we really did look like ss1 students) we could not even laugh about this till days later.
We got back to the agent's office and made it clear to him that we didn't want to live in a village, shebi, I no get village ni? My mama and papa are from two different states with villages. *insert very angry, smoke puffing out face here* he got another agent to take us to some place after computer village, can't recall the name, but we decided to fill our stomachs as we hadn't had any food all day and stopped by the roadside with NO shame to eat white rice and pepper soup, filled with kayan ciki (goat intestines) *dancing*stay tuned, for the next post, would yarn about my excessive, and amazing new found love for amala spots (Nkem cannot even understand why,when and how)...lol and other spots.
Next we were taken to Agege, I'm not even giving details of this, after the agent was praising the place, saying how close it was to pecinema *covers face*
We got home at about 7:00pm, settled in for some mortuary standard snapp and showered thoroughly and slept for two straight days only waking up to eat, respond to mails or whatever social media and doze off. Did I add that these agents are out to kill? They ask you what your budget is and start to show you places, little do you know that there is something called 'the full package' which is 10% agreement fee and 10% agency fee, not to mention caution fee. Most times you pay for two years, and end up paying more agreement/agency fee than the actual rent. Imagine a self contained apartment for 150k and full package is 450k *by this time, I had my trainers on and was ready to kokotrek back to abuja, at least you know your paying so much and getting its worth* It took Nkem's words of wisdom from page 1-78 to calm me and bring my head back to Lagos.
FINALLY, I got this place at Ikeja, and its waaaaaaaaay*help me add another A and more As* better than any house I have been shown since I started my hunt. Nkem reminds me that a home is not a house, its where your family is, and we are working so hard to make this house our home.
Let me go hunt food from one of these roadside food sellers before I faint... #TeamFoodie #TeamFatFam ;)
Any experience of your own?
You do not pay for the house itself, but for its environment and security...
Said an agent.
...XoXo...
So welcome to the new site (don't worry, I have tattooed the password of this site on my left thigh).
So I'm going to rant about my frustration on house hunting in this city of Lagos.
I have been house hunting for...don't know how long sef, but when I took it seriously, I went to look for an agent, (I been think say na beans) then I was asked to pay pre-inspection fee of 2k, ehn, no ish...paid and filled the form.(I stated clearly what it was I wanted, but failed to categorically state what areas) so trust lagos agents to waste your time, as long as they are getting recharge card money and your paying their transport fee.
The first place I was taken to was OGBA, the farther we kept going, the more scared I became, at some point I thought I was at OWO(Ibadan). *wipes sweat and red eyes*
The house itself was a newly renovated building with a large sitting room that got me thinking the landlord wanted it to be used as the bedroom, the bedroom was so tiny, one mattress, and ild be standing on the mattress to see the mirror. The doors were all clapping themselves, kitchen, toilet,room door, just swinging carelessly and if one wasn't careful, you would be high-fived every time you went past anyone.
The environment, oh boy, there were two schools, on the right side of the house and directly opposite the house, to top it all, was a church yards away from the main gate. *evils*
I literally went up in tears as I mailed Nkem, he went all sorry on me, and said, 'omit this from the blog oh'.lol, had to share.
By the time I got home, I was beat. And that was how the search ended... For a few weeks though.
One night, my girlfriend came from Abuja and we decided to start the house hunt...again!
So as unusual as it is we were up and out before 7:30am, started walking the streets of ikeja G.R.A as if there was something we really expected to get. I used my *blesses the Almighty* fluency in hausa to speak with gate men who seemed amazed that we were looking for houses without any specific place in mind or without an agent, and some were so happy to see their sister and started trying to famz,ANYWAY,*rolls eyes* in the end, we walked G.R.A in circles till about 11:00am and gave up.
Smart girlfriend went up on OLX and saw a placement there, called the agent and jumped on the estate shuttle to the agent's office.
Do I have to tell the story of how I had to pay another pre-inspection fee and filled form and explained that I do not work and I'm Igbo even though I look and speak hausa and I'm a christian, and I'm not single?
These landlords are so sexist and tribalistic and even more. Well, after stories of how landlords do not want single ladies in their houses and blah, we got to going to check some places.
First, we went to a hut at Anifowose with a different agent, yes, you read right, a HUT. Though the agent called it a storey building*tilts nose* we climbed the very unsafe stairs and got in, Jesu, we were covering our nose half the time, yeye man, turned and asked if the place was smelling, 'no sir, d scent is so intoxicating, we would gladly throw our perfumes away and come bask in this*rolls eyes*.
Swear down, I do not know what cardboard paper was used as a division to create a room abi its sitting room sef? :(
The agent guy even had the effrontery to ask if we were looking for the house for our elder sister (the way we were dressed ehn, we really did look like ss1 students) we could not even laugh about this till days later.
We got back to the agent's office and made it clear to him that we didn't want to live in a village, shebi, I no get village ni? My mama and papa are from two different states with villages. *insert very angry, smoke puffing out face here* he got another agent to take us to some place after computer village, can't recall the name, but we decided to fill our stomachs as we hadn't had any food all day and stopped by the roadside with NO shame to eat white rice and pepper soup, filled with kayan ciki (goat intestines) *dancing*stay tuned, for the next post, would yarn about my excessive, and amazing new found love for amala spots (Nkem cannot even understand why,when and how)...lol and other spots.
Next we were taken to Agege, I'm not even giving details of this, after the agent was praising the place, saying how close it was to pecinema *covers face*
We got home at about 7:00pm, settled in for some mortuary standard snapp and showered thoroughly and slept for two straight days only waking up to eat, respond to mails or whatever social media and doze off. Did I add that these agents are out to kill? They ask you what your budget is and start to show you places, little do you know that there is something called 'the full package' which is 10% agreement fee and 10% agency fee, not to mention caution fee. Most times you pay for two years, and end up paying more agreement/agency fee than the actual rent. Imagine a self contained apartment for 150k and full package is 450k *by this time, I had my trainers on and was ready to kokotrek back to abuja, at least you know your paying so much and getting its worth* It took Nkem's words of wisdom from page 1-78 to calm me and bring my head back to Lagos.
FINALLY, I got this place at Ikeja, and its waaaaaaaaay*help me add another A and more As* better than any house I have been shown since I started my hunt. Nkem reminds me that a home is not a house, its where your family is, and we are working so hard to make this house our home.
Let me go hunt food from one of these roadside food sellers before I faint... #TeamFoodie #TeamFatFam ;)
Any experience of your own?
You do not pay for the house itself, but for its environment and security...
Said an agent.
...XoXo...
Marlyne
MY LRD
Long distance relationship(s) (LDR)
Are you in one? I didn't trust I could ever achieve this, I tried once and by the time he was to come to Nigeria, we were clearly hanging by the thread, short version, we were done before we even started.
So, when another opportunity came my way, I was reluctant, what good was there in it anyway? But here I am today in the most awesome relationship ever and its way better than any I have had even houses away from me. The saying, 'wetin you dey find for Sokoto, dey your shokoto', didn't work for me in this situation, 'wetin I find for my shokoto been dey Sokoto'. Lol
Let's get to today's business.
• DISTANCE
Being in a relationship and being oceans, valleys and countries apart can be as frustrating as it can get. For some people you do not get to see your spouse except ones in a year or twice.
I overcome this by getting myself busy day after day, somehow my mind gets distracted from counting days and watching it turn into weeks and months.
I also (thankfully) have no calender on my wall, I think I would lose a nut if I did have one.
• ARGUMENTS
When having arguments or quarrels, you cannot see there facial expressions or read there body language. You have no idea if he/she just went through a storm and at the other end of the line is acting all fine.(The best you can get is a pretentious giggle or 'I'm fine,really).
My spouse and I have a (call it policy) or whatever that helps us through weathers.
A) you don't get to sleep off without settling issues
B) no transfer of aggression. If someone/something got you pissed do not bring the attitude or mood into our lives. (My dad would always say, when your in a mood, go behind closed doors and pour your frustration on anything, do not stay in the midst of people and make everyone else as sour as you feel)
C) whatever we have on our minds we spill, no holding back.
D) we treat each other like children, when Nkem says something I do not like, even if it were a joke, I would bring it up ASAP and we do the apologies and continue our discussion like nothing happened.
E) Nkem is my calm and balm. Let me explain, I think I'm the hot headed one in this relationship, so while I'm ready to face a situation with anger and attitude, he comes to my rescue with words of wisdom and a far better way to calm the waters.
• TRUST
What does this entail? Trust makes a solid foundation in relationships. Though, we have been taught by experiences(ours or others) that one cannot trust even his shadow.
Do not know how that works, but I trust my man.
I do not think trusting someone has to be a 100% but you cannot be in a relationship and not trust your spouse, how does that even work?
If I'm going to hang out with my male friends, I say to him who I'm going with and where.
If he gets a call from a lady friend, he says as well.
Trust should not be a one sided affair.
• COMMUNICATION
Communication is the all(I think).
Thankfully we have telephone calls, sms, emails, facebook, twitter, skype, google + E.T.C these days.
Unfortunately, we also have Nigeria's poor service providers and time difference.
God help us here in Nigeria, with our very sick service providers.
Myself and Nkem chat via facebook, sms and foremost emails. Our telephone conversations are the weirdest, but I never get tired of it, I bet we could go 8hours non-stop on call, but then the 1hour 8seconds stop us (and when the bill comes at the end of the month, I for done use that money buy land for my mama village oh).
Emails are back and forth (do not blame my blackberry for revolting and getting hot all the time, I have two batteries anyway, so PHCN if you want to mess up O.Y.O) *tongue out*
Sending pictures and a few video clips help also.
Communication also means understanding and expressing yourself in a way the other person does not read the wrong meaning into what you have said. So in whatever you have to say, keep it simple and as clear as it can be
.
• LIVING SIMPLY
LDR couples should keep open minds, and do not try to build your relationship like mr. and mrs. X and Y who live in Agege and Jibowu respectively or Ikoyi and V.I.
Say things as they are, do what makes your spouse happy and treat him/her as you expect to be treated, remember what you give is what you get.
• PRAYING
This goes a very long way, praying to your Creator, thanking Him and appreciating all He has done.
I must say Nkem takes the trophy on this one(yer yer, I know its no competition, but for now I let him shine...lol)
It started with him calling in the morning to say quick prayers before we got about our daily lives, to goodnight prayers. Right now, we pray at random.
Nothing beats a couple that pray together, that just has to be awesome right?
I think my head is empty at this point, I miss Nkem, I cannot wait for him to come home. As an African woman, I will feed my man Fat...and fit!!! :D
Are you a LDR couple, how do you cope?
...XoXo...
Are you in one? I didn't trust I could ever achieve this, I tried once and by the time he was to come to Nigeria, we were clearly hanging by the thread, short version, we were done before we even started.
So, when another opportunity came my way, I was reluctant, what good was there in it anyway? But here I am today in the most awesome relationship ever and its way better than any I have had even houses away from me. The saying, 'wetin you dey find for Sokoto, dey your shokoto', didn't work for me in this situation, 'wetin I find for my shokoto been dey Sokoto'. Lol
Let's get to today's business.
• DISTANCE
Being in a relationship and being oceans, valleys and countries apart can be as frustrating as it can get. For some people you do not get to see your spouse except ones in a year or twice.
I overcome this by getting myself busy day after day, somehow my mind gets distracted from counting days and watching it turn into weeks and months.
I also (thankfully) have no calender on my wall, I think I would lose a nut if I did have one.
• ARGUMENTS
When having arguments or quarrels, you cannot see there facial expressions or read there body language. You have no idea if he/she just went through a storm and at the other end of the line is acting all fine.(The best you can get is a pretentious giggle or 'I'm fine,really).
My spouse and I have a (call it policy) or whatever that helps us through weathers.
A) you don't get to sleep off without settling issues
B) no transfer of aggression. If someone/something got you pissed do not bring the attitude or mood into our lives. (My dad would always say, when your in a mood, go behind closed doors and pour your frustration on anything, do not stay in the midst of people and make everyone else as sour as you feel)
C) whatever we have on our minds we spill, no holding back.
D) we treat each other like children, when Nkem says something I do not like, even if it were a joke, I would bring it up ASAP and we do the apologies and continue our discussion like nothing happened.
E) Nkem is my calm and balm. Let me explain, I think I'm the hot headed one in this relationship, so while I'm ready to face a situation with anger and attitude, he comes to my rescue with words of wisdom and a far better way to calm the waters.
• TRUST
What does this entail? Trust makes a solid foundation in relationships. Though, we have been taught by experiences(ours or others) that one cannot trust even his shadow.
Do not know how that works, but I trust my man.
I do not think trusting someone has to be a 100% but you cannot be in a relationship and not trust your spouse, how does that even work?
If I'm going to hang out with my male friends, I say to him who I'm going with and where.
If he gets a call from a lady friend, he says as well.
Trust should not be a one sided affair.
• COMMUNICATION
Communication is the all(I think).
Thankfully we have telephone calls, sms, emails, facebook, twitter, skype, google + E.T.C these days.
Unfortunately, we also have Nigeria's poor service providers and time difference.
God help us here in Nigeria, with our very sick service providers.
Myself and Nkem chat via facebook, sms and foremost emails. Our telephone conversations are the weirdest, but I never get tired of it, I bet we could go 8hours non-stop on call, but then the 1hour 8seconds stop us (and when the bill comes at the end of the month, I for done use that money buy land for my mama village oh).
Emails are back and forth (do not blame my blackberry for revolting and getting hot all the time, I have two batteries anyway, so PHCN if you want to mess up O.Y.O) *tongue out*
Sending pictures and a few video clips help also.
Communication also means understanding and expressing yourself in a way the other person does not read the wrong meaning into what you have said. So in whatever you have to say, keep it simple and as clear as it can be
.
• LIVING SIMPLY
LDR couples should keep open minds, and do not try to build your relationship like mr. and mrs. X and Y who live in Agege and Jibowu respectively or Ikoyi and V.I.
Say things as they are, do what makes your spouse happy and treat him/her as you expect to be treated, remember what you give is what you get.
• PRAYING
This goes a very long way, praying to your Creator, thanking Him and appreciating all He has done.
I must say Nkem takes the trophy on this one(yer yer, I know its no competition, but for now I let him shine...lol)
It started with him calling in the morning to say quick prayers before we got about our daily lives, to goodnight prayers. Right now, we pray at random.
Nothing beats a couple that pray together, that just has to be awesome right?
I think my head is empty at this point, I miss Nkem, I cannot wait for him to come home. As an African woman, I will feed my man Fat...and fit!!! :D
Are you a LDR couple, how do you cope?
...XoXo...
Marlyne
MY LRD
Long distance relationship(s) (LDR)
Are you in one? I didn't trust I could ever achieve this, I tried once and by the time he was to come to Nigeria, we were clearly hanging by the thread, short version, we were done before we even started.
So, when another opportunity came my way, I was reluctant, what good was there in it anyway? But here I am today in the most awesome relationship ever and its way better than any I have had even houses away from me. The saying, 'wetin you dey find for Sokoto, dey your shokoto', didn't work for me in this situation, 'wetin I find for my shokoto been dey Sokoto'. Lol
Let's get to today's business.
• DISTANCE
Being in a relationship and being oceans, valleys and countries apart can be as frustrating as it can get. For some people you do not get to see your spouse except ones in a year or twice.
I overcome this by getting myself busy day after day, somehow my mind gets distracted from counting days and watching it turn into weeks and months.
I also (thankfully) have no calender on my wall, I think I would lose a nut if I did have one.
• ARGUMENTS
When having arguments or quarrels, you cannot see there facial expressions or read there body language. You have no idea if he/she just went through a storm and at the other end of the line is acting all fine.(The best you can get is a pretentious giggle or 'I'm fine,really).
My spouse and I have a (call it policy) or whatever that helps us through weathers.
A) you don't get to sleep off without settling issues
B) no transfer of aggression. If someone/something got you pissed do not bring the attitude or mood into our lives. (My dad would always say, when your in a mood, go behind closed doors and pour your frustration on anything, do not stay in the midst of people and make everyone else as sour as you feel)
C) whatever we have on our minds we spill, no holding back.
D) we treat each other like children, when Nkem says something I do not like, even if it were a joke, I would bring it up ASAP and we do the apologies and continue our discussion like nothing happened.
E) Nkem is my calm and balm. Let me explain, I think I'm the hot headed one in this relationship, so while I'm ready to face a situation with anger and attitude, he comes to my rescue with words of wisdom and a far better way to calm the waters.
• TRUST
What does this entail? Trust makes a solid foundation in relationships. Though, we have been taught by experiences(ours or others) that one cannot trust even his shadow.
Do not know how that works, but I trust my man.
I do not think trusting someone has to be a 100% but you cannot be in a relationship and not trust your spouse, how does that even work?
If I'm going to hang out with my male friends, I say to him who I'm going with and where.
If he gets a call from a lady friend, he says as well.
Trust should not be a one sided affair.
• COMMUNICATION
Communication is the all(I think).
Thankfully we have telephone calls, sms, emails, facebook, twitter, skype, google + E.T.C these days.
Unfortunately, we also have Nigeria's poor service providers and time difference.
God help us here in Nigeria, with our very sick service providers.
Myself and Nkem chat via facebook, sms and foremost emails. Our telephone conversations are the weirdest, but I never get tired of it, I bet we could go 8hours non-stop on call, but then the 1hour 8seconds stop us (and when the bill comes at the end of the month, I for done use that money buy land for my mama village oh).
Emails are back and forth (do not blame my blackberry for revolting and getting hot all the time, I have two batteries anyway, so PHCN if you want to mess up O.Y.O) *tongue out*
Sending pictures and a few video clips help also.
Communication also means understanding and expressing yourself in a way the other person does not read the wrong meaning into what you have said. So in whatever you have to say, keep it simple and as clear as it can be
.
• LIVING SIMPLY
LDR couples should keep open minds, and do not try to build your relationship like mr. and mrs. X and Y who live in Agege and Jibowu respectively or Ikoyi and V.I.
Say things as they are, do what makes your spouse happy and treat him/her as you expect to be treated, remember what you give is what you get.
• PRAYING
This goes a very long way, praying to your Creator, thanking Him and appreciating all He has done.
I must say Nkem takes the trophy on this one(yer yer, I know its no competition, but for now I let him shine...lol)
It started with him calling in the morning to say quick prayers before we got about our daily lives, to goodnight prayers. Right now, we pray at random.
Nothing beats a couple that pray together, that just has to be awesome right?
I think my head is empty at this point, I miss Nkem, I cannot wait for him to come home. As an African woman, I will feed my man Fat...and fit!!! :D
Are you a LDR couple, how do you cope?
...XoXo...
Are you in one? I didn't trust I could ever achieve this, I tried once and by the time he was to come to Nigeria, we were clearly hanging by the thread, short version, we were done before we even started.
So, when another opportunity came my way, I was reluctant, what good was there in it anyway? But here I am today in the most awesome relationship ever and its way better than any I have had even houses away from me. The saying, 'wetin you dey find for Sokoto, dey your shokoto', didn't work for me in this situation, 'wetin I find for my shokoto been dey Sokoto'. Lol
Let's get to today's business.
• DISTANCE
Being in a relationship and being oceans, valleys and countries apart can be as frustrating as it can get. For some people you do not get to see your spouse except ones in a year or twice.
I overcome this by getting myself busy day after day, somehow my mind gets distracted from counting days and watching it turn into weeks and months.
I also (thankfully) have no calender on my wall, I think I would lose a nut if I did have one.
• ARGUMENTS
When having arguments or quarrels, you cannot see there facial expressions or read there body language. You have no idea if he/she just went through a storm and at the other end of the line is acting all fine.(The best you can get is a pretentious giggle or 'I'm fine,really).
My spouse and I have a (call it policy) or whatever that helps us through weathers.
A) you don't get to sleep off without settling issues
B) no transfer of aggression. If someone/something got you pissed do not bring the attitude or mood into our lives. (My dad would always say, when your in a mood, go behind closed doors and pour your frustration on anything, do not stay in the midst of people and make everyone else as sour as you feel)
C) whatever we have on our minds we spill, no holding back.
D) we treat each other like children, when Nkem says something I do not like, even if it were a joke, I would bring it up ASAP and we do the apologies and continue our discussion like nothing happened.
E) Nkem is my calm and balm. Let me explain, I think I'm the hot headed one in this relationship, so while I'm ready to face a situation with anger and attitude, he comes to my rescue with words of wisdom and a far better way to calm the waters.
• TRUST
What does this entail? Trust makes a solid foundation in relationships. Though, we have been taught by experiences(ours or others) that one cannot trust even his shadow.
Do not know how that works, but I trust my man.
I do not think trusting someone has to be a 100% but you cannot be in a relationship and not trust your spouse, how does that even work?
If I'm going to hang out with my male friends, I say to him who I'm going with and where.
If he gets a call from a lady friend, he says as well.
Trust should not be a one sided affair.
• COMMUNICATION
Communication is the all(I think).
Thankfully we have telephone calls, sms, emails, facebook, twitter, skype, google + E.T.C these days.
Unfortunately, we also have Nigeria's poor service providers and time difference.
God help us here in Nigeria, with our very sick service providers.
Myself and Nkem chat via facebook, sms and foremost emails. Our telephone conversations are the weirdest, but I never get tired of it, I bet we could go 8hours non-stop on call, but then the 1hour 8seconds stop us (and when the bill comes at the end of the month, I for done use that money buy land for my mama village oh).
Emails are back and forth (do not blame my blackberry for revolting and getting hot all the time, I have two batteries anyway, so PHCN if you want to mess up O.Y.O) *tongue out*
Sending pictures and a few video clips help also.
Communication also means understanding and expressing yourself in a way the other person does not read the wrong meaning into what you have said. So in whatever you have to say, keep it simple and as clear as it can be
.
• LIVING SIMPLY
LDR couples should keep open minds, and do not try to build your relationship like mr. and mrs. X and Y who live in Agege and Jibowu respectively or Ikoyi and V.I.
Say things as they are, do what makes your spouse happy and treat him/her as you expect to be treated, remember what you give is what you get.
• PRAYING
This goes a very long way, praying to your Creator, thanking Him and appreciating all He has done.
I must say Nkem takes the trophy on this one(yer yer, I know its no competition, but for now I let him shine...lol)
It started with him calling in the morning to say quick prayers before we got about our daily lives, to goodnight prayers. Right now, we pray at random.
Nothing beats a couple that pray together, that just has to be awesome right?
I think my head is empty at this point, I miss Nkem, I cannot wait for him to come home. As an African woman, I will feed my man Fat...and fit!!! :D
Are you a LDR couple, how do you cope?
...XoXo...
Marlyne
Marlyne
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